户部侍郎府。
“轰！”
往日威严的朱红大门，
被一脚踹得粉碎，炸成漫天木屑！
数百名玩家如哈士奇入雪地，嗷嗷叫着涌入府邸，
喊杀声和哄笑声混成一片。
“卧槽！后院有红名锦鲤！爆观赏鱼不？”
“别捡破字画，占背包！金银细软！
找系统判定的‘贵重品’，直接换军功！”
庭院里鸡飞狗跳。
ID【也是条汉子】，嚣张地一脚踹开正厅大门。
厅内，户部侍郎范建瘫在太师椅上，崭新的官袍沾满灰尘。
他死死攥着扶手，指节发青，竭力撑着官威。
“放肆！本官乃朝廷二品大员！
尔等丘八，无凭无据……”
声音因恐惧而尖利。
“据？据你奶奶个腿儿！”
人群中，一个ID叫【键盘侠福尔】的玩家踱步而出。
他没拿武器，只捧着个小本本，像地府上来勾魂的判官。
“范大人，别来无恙啊？”
【键盘侠福尔】推了推不存在的眼镜，嘿嘿一笑，开始点名。
“崇祯十二年，你吞了边镇八千两军饷。
北境的弟兄们，那个冬天一定很‘暖和’吧？”
范建瞳孔骤缩：
“你……你血口喷人！”
“嘴硬？”
【键盘侠福尔】翻了一页，声音悠哉，
“崇祯十三年，纳小妾，收两广总督丁魁楚和田玉观音一尊。
我猜猜……是不是藏在你后花园那口枯井的夹层里？”
“轰！”
范建脑中炸响一个惊雷，冷汗瞬间湿透了后背。
这……这怎么可能？！那是他压箱底的秘密！
这帮丘八，真能开天眼？！
【键盘侠福尔】根本不给他喘息之机，声音愈发玩味：
“还有上个月，倒卖一万石军粮给流寇……
啧啧，通敌可是灭九族的大罪。
哦对了，那本账本，好像就夹在你书房《金瓶梅》画册的第三十二页吧？”
“鬼……你们是鬼啊！！！”
遮羞布被无情撕烂，范建的心理彻底崩塌。
他感觉自己被扒光了扔在菜市口！
“我招！我全都招！求你别念了！”
范建涕泪横流，狼狈地从太师椅上滑下来，
噗通一声跪在地上，磕头如捣蒜。
“切，这就破防了？没劲。”
【键盘侠福尔】意兴阑珊地合上本子，
对着身后两眼放光的玩家们大手一挥。
“兄弟们，坐标刷新！
后花园枯井，书房《金瓶梅》！请求出错，状态码:0内容:请求出错，状态码:504内容:<!DOCTYPE html>
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Visit <a href="https://www.cloudflare.com/5xx-error-landing?utm_source=errorcode_504&utm_campaign=www.biqugem.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">cloudflare.com</a> for more information.
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<div class="mt-3">2026-06-21 08:02:18 UTC</div>
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